Pet Loss –
Grieving the Loss of your Animal Companion
Whether your pet has died unexpectedly from an illness or accident, was sick for a period of time before passing, or disappeared and has not returned, you are left with a multitude of feelings and thoughts we call grief.
The grief journey is a natural process that is very individual and follows no prescribed route. It is important to have some guidelines to help you have the most supportive and loving grief process. Give yourself the time you need to honor the love you shared with your pet.
Unfortunately, in our culture, when a pet dies, the loss is often minimized because many people do not understand the profound attachment that can occur between humans and animals. For many people, the pain of losing their beloved animal companion is worse than the grief they endure with the loss of a human friend or family member. There are many reasons this can occur, one being the unconditional loving bond that happens between many pet owners and their animals. When there is such a strong bond between animal and human, there will be a similar strong grief response.
The following offers you some practical thoughts for coping with your loss. Know that your grief journey will last just as long as it needs to. You needn't feel rushed to "get over it" or to get another animal. Although we never "get over" the loss of a loved one, we do find ways to move beyond the pain and become involved in life again, often, in more meaningful ways as a result of our journey.
What You May be Feeling Or Thinking
Disbelief that your pet is gone--you may still look for them in the house or yard
• Shock or numbness--life continues around you, but you feel disconnected
• Helplessness to change what is happening
• Profound sadness--crying at the least reminder of your loss
• Anger at yourself, others, such as the vet or God
• Guilt for things you did or did not do for the animal
• Guilt for deciding to euthanize your pet too soon or not soon enough
• Difficulty sleeping and eating
• Difficulty concentrating and focusing
• Avoiding being home with all the reminders
• Shame about your strong feelings-hiding them
• Missing being able to hold and touch your pet
• Anger towards those who don't understand your loss and who make statements like, "It was only a cat...you can always get another."
• Fear that you are grieving too much
• Confusion about what to do with your pet's remains, toys, dishes, etc.
• Feeling alone with your pain, especially at work.
• Feeling a lack of purpose in your life.
• Wanting reassurance that your pet is ok where they are
• Disturbing dreams or thoughts about your pet
• Anxiety or guilt when you are enjoying yourself
Healing Suggestions for Pet Loss
• Allow yourself to feel all your feelings. It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to feel deeply. Doing breathing exercises can relax you, and allow your feelings to move more freely. Writing a letter to your pet can ease the pain in your heart.
• Stay connected to others who care about you and understand, as best they can, your attachment. Be receptive to receiving their kindness and help with daily activities, such as shopping or laundry.
• Attend a pet loss support group to help you get through the initial difficult mourning period.
• Be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the time you need to grieve. Nurture your spirit, mind, body and heart with activities, books, movies and friends that uplift and soothe your soul.
• Do your best to stay healthy, through proper nutrition, rest and exercise. This is difficult to do; imagine what your pet would want you to do.
• Honor your animal companion through a memorial service, a tree-planting, community service or helping a friend.
• Plan activities for days that will be especially difficult, such as holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.
• Some depression is a normal grief response. If you feel you are in trouble, have suicidal thoughts or plans, substance abuse problems, or long-term depression, please seek professional help at once. Call your local crisis center. In Tucson, phone 622-6000.
• Balance negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones, such as "I did the best I knew how for my pet." "I am a loving, compassionate guardian for my animal companions."
• Take walks or interact with nature in some way. Nature heals.
• Don't sweat the small stuff. Allow your perspective on what really counts in life to expand.
Above all, remember that you were given an incredible gift: the love of a being with pure heart who taught you that love is truly healing and the answer to all questions. What a privilege and responsibility to take that lesson into our daily lives as human beings. Namaste.
NOTE: Marcia has completed the pet loss video/dvd, "Healing the Grief of Pet Loss" and you can purchase it on this website from the "Books and Music" page. For those who can't make it to a pet loss support group, or want to do some of their grieving in the privacy of their home, this video is a lifesaver. In it, you will hear from others who are on a similar grief journey, and learn the strategies that help one to heal and to move forward in life, transformed and with an open heart. | 
